The Legend of Zelda: Parody of Time
by Chaotic Boredom
Summary: A Parody of the Ocarina of Time! A collaboration with Shawshank, H7, and lotsa goofball ideas! Hey, it's been done before, but we don't care! No, we do not! Anyone brave enough to R&R?
1. The Dude Tree

Welcome, welcome, one and all! Run while you can, trust me! RUN NOW! *Clears throat*. Well, this is a collaboration between me and Chaotic Boredom, and it's a Zelda parody, and...uh...that's about it...*Glances over at Chaotic, who nods encouragingly* Yeah, that's it. So sit back on a cloud, relax, and enjoy! And RUN WHILE YOU CAN!

-Shawshank

I'm making a short appearance here, cuz Shawshank forgot some stuff.

*This* denotes action, ~this~ is a comment for you from Shawshank, and ^this^ is one from me. "this" is standard talking.

The screen is entirely black, and for an instant we wonder if we've suddenly become blind and deaf. Then a deep voice echoes out of the darkness...

"In the vast, deep, dark forest of Hyrule..."

"Long have I served as the guardian whatchathingy...uh, I mean, spirit..."

"A whole bunch of spoiled brats live with me, and I've been trying to kick them out for years, only they all remember that I told them they'd die if they leave the forest…"

"They all have their own annoying little balls of light..."

"Except for that loser over there, you know, the one with the bad dreams all the time? I almost think he's lucky to not have a fairy..."

"Navi..."

"Leave me alone!" Navi's little voice comes from underground.

"Navi, where the hell...uh, I mean, where art thou..."

"I'm sleeping!"

"G'Way"

"Come here...hither...whatever..."

"I don't wanna!"

"NAVI! GET YOUR GLOWING ASS OVER HERE! NOW!"

"MAKE ME!"

"YOU WANNA GO? YOU GOIN' DOWN!"

"YOU SUCK! YOU CAN'T EVEN MOVE!"

*Clears throat* "Yes, maybe not, but keep in mind that I'm about A BILLION TIMES as big as you, and I can do more than bash people on the head!"

"Whatever, I'm all awake now, so I'm coming."

*Navi stumbles out of little hole in ground, looking very grumpy indeed*

"Ahem hem. As I was saying...*adopts old british type voice.* Navi...dost thou feel it? Uh, Navi? Chickie? Dudette? Babe? HELLO? ANSWER ME!!!!"

*Navi wipes sleep out of eyes, flicking it at Dude Tree* "You mean the uncontrollable urge to injure you?"

"No, no, the climate of evil descending upon this realm! Goddesses, are you magic or not?"

"If I'm not, can I go back to sleep?"

"No."

"Damn"

"I am the Dude Tree! Hear me roar! Uh...I mean...anyway..."

"Riiight"

"Mean guys are even now mustarding...with ketchup...and lots of pickles...wait... *Drools.* I want a hot dog..."

"And I wanna go back to sleep, but we can't all have what we want, so get on with it."

"Wow, you really *are* crabby! What, is it that time of month or something?"

"That's none of your business! Now hurry it up already!"

"Fine, fine...*drones in monotone.* For so long this boring forest filled with little brats has stood as a barrier thingy, beating up outsiders and making sure everybody's happy... But, with this huge tsunami of power, even I can't go surfing... It seems the time has come for that fairyless loser to get out of the forest...finally...thank the Goddesses... I mean, he's the whiniest one of them all!"

"WHAT? Your saddling me with HIM?! I'M NOT GONNA DO IT!"

"Hey, I don't get a choice in these things! It's not *my* fault! Blame those two stupid authors sitting up on those clouds and Myamoto, not me!"

~Shawshank and Chaotic Boredom wave down at them, grinning~

^Happily^

"I'm blaming you!" *Navi turns and flies off through the woods*

"Wait, Navi! I'm not done! You cut me off! Don't you want to know about that loser's heroic destiny and how the fate of the world is resting on your shoulders, even though he's the one doing all the running around?"

"Tell it to yourself!" Navi zooms away into the forest

*Mutters under breath* "Screw all fairies, anyway." *Shouts up at the authoresses* "Hey, cut to the next scene already, willya?"

AN: Heh heh, this is Chaotic Boredom, being annoying. ANs are fun, for me at least. Now, I order you to review! Now! Right there! See! *points furiously at little button* Until next Chapter!

Adios!

Chaotic Boredom


	2. The Freaky Talking Boulder

AN: Heh heh, we've changed the format a bit, it's more dialogue type thingy now, just because it's easier for us. 

(Shawshank: And a lot less confusing!)

Go way! Anyway, I like responding to reviewers, so here we go!

Beck2- You really do yell that? I always yell at her to buzz off! Shawshank recommends you go see a doctor…

H7- Keep thinking, we know you can do it! Just kidding. Thanks for the review, and get back soon!

Kaori Lothelen- We're glad it makes you laugh! That's why it's written, and we hope you enjoy this chapter!

zeldagurl- We're doing our best to not take too long to update! Glad you like it!

Just a quick reminder, *action*, ^me being annoying^, ~Shawshank being annoying~, and…yup, that's it I believe.

Anyway, today, I have a revealation. Hair does not burn like steel wool, but it does smell similar to burnt steel wool. Yup. I'm done. Enjoy!

~Chaotic Boredom

NAVI: Hey, kid! Yeah, you! Don't you roll your eyes up in your head at me!

*Link falls out of bed* LINK: What the hell? Ahh! Glowing floating ball of light! Get away! Get away!

^rewind to before Link fell outta bed^

~Nice, Chaotic. Nice.~

*inside Links head* LINK: What the Hell? Who are you? *Link looks at the running white horse, and is trampled as it rides off into the night. He begins to get up, and is knocked back down, this time by a black horse*

BLACK MYSTERIOUS HORSEMAN DUDE: Hah! You're a loser! I"m going to kill you, as soon as I get rid of this terrible wedgie...

*Link looks at huge horse and man, and promptly wets himself*

BMHD: Start running, kid! I just...have to...get rid of this stupid WEDGIE! *Shifts in saddle uncomfortably, then sniffs the air.* Ugh, what's that horrible smell? I know it's not me...

*Link tries to get away, whimpering quietly*

BHMD: aha! Yes, try to run, loser! I'll get you, after I get this wedgie...ARGH! *He has accidentally kicked his horse while trying to relieve some intense arse pain, and it runs crazily to the south. He calls back over his shoulder.* I'll get you someday, Gadget - uh, I mean, loser!

^and Link wakes...Now!^

~Tada! Ah, the magic of fanfiction.~

*Link falls out of bed* LINK: What the hell? Ahh! Glowing floating ball of light! Get away! Get away!

NAVI: Oh, get a grip, loser. The Dude Tree decided to implement the buddy system, and I got assigned with you. *Pouts.*

LINK: What? You mean...you're my fairy? Yes! Now I can prove to Mido and the others that I am a real boy! er...I mean...a real Kokiri!" *Link gets up and dances happily*

NAVI: Yeah, sure, Pinnochio. Follow me so you don't get lost. *Zooms out the door.*

LINK: Hey! Wait! Come back! *Link runs out of house, tripping over ladder, falling in front of Saria*

SARIA: Hey, los – uh, I mean, Link!

LINK: Um, okay, hello! Uh, you know, I meant to do that!

SARIA: Uh huh.

LINK: I got a fairy! See! Uh…Where'd she go?

NAVI: *Her voice is slightly muffled* I'm under here, you id.

LINK: Well, get outta there…oh wait, IT'S IN MY HAIR! GET IT OUT! GET IT OUT!

NAVI: AH! IT'S IN YOUR HAIR! GET IT OUT, GET IT OUT! Wait a second…

*Link pulls his hat off, and flings Navi against the tree, his hair is now all over the place*

SARIA: AH, AH, YOUR HAIR!

LINK: What about my hair?

SARIA: *Is caught in Link's amazingly tangled and huge hair, and cannot speak.*

LINK: AH! YOU'RE IN MY HAIR! GET OUT! GET OUT GET OUT!

NAVI: *Gets up from the ground, extremely PO'd* Link, you're going to DIE! Oh, I told the Dude Tree, I told him, I'm going to kill that kid, but nooooooooo, he wouldn't listen! He was too busy talking about surfing! So you can't say I didn't warn anybody!

LINK: *he's still busy trying to untangle his 'friend' from his hair*

SARIA: Mmph! Gurgle! Blub blub!

NAVI: Why me? *runs through Link's hair, slicing off the majority of it, which then grows, and runs off into the Lost Woods*

SARIA: *Spitting out random hairballs* What I was TRYING to say was that, Wow, Link! Now you can prove to Mido you really are a Kokiri, even though we all know you're not!

LINK: What? Oh, wait, that's right! Where's Mido?

NAVI: *To Saria* What makes you think Mido'll believe Link?

SARIA: Well, he's the only one here more stupid than Link, so what can you expect?

LINK: *is busy running after butterflies*

SARIA: Well, Link…Link…um, hello? LINK!!!!!!!!!

LINK: Are you talking to me?

SARIA: *Is now red in the face* Yes, I flippin' am! The Dude Tree wants to talk to you, so get your sorry butt down there right now, before I SNAP LIKE A DUDE STICK!

LINK: You're a stick?

SARIA: AAAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHH! NAVI, GET HIM DOWN THERE BEFORE I EXPLODE!

LINK: *Navi is tugging on Link's sleeve* Hold on! I wanna see this! Explosions are cool! *Navi pulls Link away*

NAVI: Link, get moving, or I'll never give you your hat back! *Dangles hat in air in front of Link's pointy nose*

LINK: Awwww…Having a fairy isn't as much fun as I thought it would be…

NAVI: Did you just insult me? Well, I'm confiscating this hat for a few days – I can sleep in it!

LINK: *Walks away, dragging his feet, and sorry rear over to the entrance of the Dude Meadow, ignoring all the 'helpful' hints the other Kokiri are shouting at him*

NAVI: Hey! Look! Listen! Yo! Watch out! I think that Kokiri is suicidal!

RANDOM KOKIRI: *Is running around with a live bomb…wait, where would he get one? Is running around with a pair of scissors*

LINK: *Walks up to Mido*

MIDO: Whaddya you want? *cough LOSER cough*

LINK: The Dude Tree wants to talk to me, and lookie! I got a fairy! See! Wait…Where'd she go again?

NAVI: I'm right here, doofus! *Her voice is seemingly coming from nowhere*

LINK: Hey! She's invisible!

NAVI: Oh, Goddesses, how I wish I was. *Flies out from what's left of Link's messy hair and shouts in his face* LET'S GO, SLOW JOE!

LINK: My name's not Joe…*pouts*

MIDO: You can't come in here, unless you beat me up! And we all know you can't do that!

NAVI: Let us through, and go suck some eggs, you hoser!

~Mrs. Rauch is the best teacher in the world!~

^Easiest test question I've ever had 8D^

NAVI: *Looks up at random cloud* Shut up,  you two! *Turns back to Mido* Let us through, or I'LL beat you up! And EVERYBODY knows I can do that!

MIDO'S FAIRY: Loser's gotta beat Mido, and you gotta beat me!

~Chocolate is good…~

^Hey! There's peanuts or something in these! Back to the story…That's bad, coming from me…^

~Fine, spoilsport.~

NAVI: I can take both of you, AND those two idiots up there! *Points at cloud, but nobody can see past her glowiness, so they don't know what she's talking about.*

LINK: *Actually THINKING for once* Hmmm…maybe if I get something really sharp and pointy…like a DUDE STICK! No, it needs to be shiny too…

*Navi, Mido, and Mido's fairy are all staring at Link*

NAVI: Who the H-E-Double Hockey Sticks are you talking to?

LINK: *continues on, completely oblivious, hold on, he doesn't even know that word EXISTS, hmmm…oh well* What is sharp, pointy, and shiny? I'm sure…uh…

MIDO: *Has given up trying to understand Link, so he joins in.* You know, I'm really not sure…but there has to be something out there that's sharp and pointy and shiny!

MIDO'S FAIRY: *very dryly* You mean like a SWORD?

            MIDO: Hey, it's my job to do the thinking around here!

MIDO'S FAIRY: Too bad the only thing you can think about is Saria…

MIDO: Hey, I resemble that! The only thing YOU can think about is Saria's fairy!

LINK: *has left, running up to the Know-it-All brothers house*

NAVI: Um…we'll just leave you two to duke it out.

LINK: *Through some amazing miracle, has managed to find his way into the Maze* Hmmm…they said that the sword was in here somewhere…

NAVI: *Is panting…do fairies pant? Well, they do now!* Wait…Link…stop…rock…

LINK: *turns to look at Navi* What? *is immediately whacked in back and squished by rolling boulder*

NAVI: *shrugs* Oh well. I guess I should talk to the Dude Tree about organizing a funeral…*starts floating away*

LINK: *pops right back up* I'm okay! I meant to do that!

NAVI: *Under breath* Dammit. *Clears throat.* Uh, I mean, glad to have you back! Yes we are…sure…

LINK: I'm glad…So, about that sword…*turns, and is whacked by boulder, again*

BOULDER: Hey, get out of the way, loser!

LINK: AH! FREAKY TALKING ROCK! *pops up again, running furiously, right into maze wall*

BOULDER: Jeeze, kid! How stupid can you be? You actually think I'm a talking ROCK?

LINK: *groans from position on ground* Oh! Look! A rupee!

NAVI: No, wait, it's a trap! It's a trick! The rupee will eat you…if only…

LINK: *reaches out and picks up shiny blue rupee* Hey! Look! It's not green!

BOULDER: Hey, isn't that the pointy, shiny, sharp thing you were looking for?

LINK: Maybe, but, no, wait, I was looking for a sharp and pointy and shiny thing, not a pointy, shiny, sharp thing.

BOULDER: Well, maybe I can help you! After all, I'm a friendly boulder who just happens to run over everybody who goes in there. I'll be your buddy once you get out of my way…you might want to start getting out of my way now…

LINK: *stands up, only to be run over, AGAIN!* Ouchie…*Begins to crawl out of the way, towards BIG WOODEN BOX*

NAVI: Hey, it's a big wooden box! Go open it, loser, maybe there's more rupees inside!

LINK: Whoa! I'm gonna be rich! Rich man Link! Yes! *bounds over to chest*

NAVI: *Mutters to boulder* He forgot 'loser.'

LINK: *opens up the chest* Oooh! Bright light! *leans over side, trying to retrieve contents, and falls in* Uhhh…Navi? Help?

NAVI: *To boulder* Waddaya think? Should I help him?

LINK: Please? *starts with puppy-dog eyes, which fail completely, as no one can see him*

BOULDER: *Completely oblivious to puppy-dog eyes, as it can't see!* Well, you know, he may be a little on the SLOW side, but I'm sure he's friendly enough, once you get to know him…

*Navi flies over, and somehow pulls Link out of chest, hanging onto his ear*

LINK: OUCH!

~*Winces, covering ears* Man, he screams louder than me!~

^That's debatable^

LINK: Ooops, forgot the sword! *runs back to chest, pulling sword out, and then runs back toward boulder, only to be squashed one last time*

BOULDER: You know, you should maybe watch where you're going?

LINK: *groans and pulls himself away from boulder, and back out into Kokiri Forest* I'm NEVER going back in there!

BOULDER: *Calls after them* Feel free to visit again soon!

NAVI: Don't worry, we will! *Snickers*

LINK: *groans again* Well, we got a sword, and the brothers said I need a piece of wood too. *picks up random twig* think this will work?

NAVI: *whacks Link over the head* No, no, loser! You need something to smack Mido over the head with! Let's raid the twins' woodpile!

LINK: *runs to woodpile, and picks up flat piece of wood, with some weird red paint on it* Will this work?

NAVI: Yeah, yeah, that's fine.

LINK: *runs back to Mido* I'm ready to fight now!

MIDO: Sure ya are, wimp.

MIDO'S FAIRY: *To Navi* Let's go, you *euphemism for angry female*

*large fight, with many colourful metaphors ensues*

^Think we should stop this?^

~Nah, let them battle it out. It's good for them.~

^And entertaining besides. *Leans back with big bucket of popcorn*^

~*Promptly knocks the popcorn over* Whoops…a heh heh…~

^Not again…^

*Fight ends, Link, Mido, and the fairies are scratched, bruised, and popcorned*

LINK: I win! Woo!

MIDO: Crap! That means you get to eat all the popcorn!

LINK: Where did this popcorn come from anyway? Hey! It's not buttered!

~*Calls down* Sorry, guys…~

^*Looks evilly at Shawshank*^

~*Stares nervously back* Uh, maybe we should end the chapter before fingernails get involved…~

^Or claws…*brandishes very sharp nails*^

***

A/N: Well, that's it…and just to let all those who care know, Chaotic didn't hurt me! Much…of course, nobody bothers to read these things anyway, so nobody cares!

Boy, do I feel loved…

-Shawshank


	3. The Bowelseeew!

^Well, we get to start this chapter again...^

{Thanks to a certain someone *cough*. . .}

^But we get to welcome another writer!! H7!! Shawshank, say hello^

{Hi!!!}

~What? *I* didn't lose the chapter! The C-Train left before we got there, and the chapter waved, but it was already too late!~

{Ah, excuses excuses. . .}

^Right...^

~Wait a sec...we're not talking about *school*, are we...?~

{Uh. . .I don't think so. . .}

^Shout-outs!! My favorite part...H7...you get to respond to yourself!^

~Jeeze, my ears!~

{Go me!!}

^At least I don't cry louder'n Link!^

~Okay, cut the crap and bring up the first review. I'm getting crabby again.~

{Uh. . .Um. . .you know what I want to say, right H7? *evil shifty eyes  the empty air before her}

^I think she knows! Zornor...hmmm...would you like a personal e-mail? and is that a compliment, or an insult?^

^Beck2- Helloooo! We've updated...it's taken forever, but we're working on that...^

{Beck2, I have absolutely no clue where these two nuts *gives an innocent look at Shawshank and Chaotic Boredom) are gonna drag me]

~I'm still crabby. Continuing on...~

{Don't be crabby, be happy! ^-^}

^Ummm...Bulma Greenleaf- funky name! And we're continuing!! Anyway, enough chit-chat, back to Lunk and friends!!^

~It's LINK! LINK! We should've called him Lunk, but it's too late for that! And we should've called Navi Naggy instead, but noooooooooo, it's FAR too late! It's too late for US ALL! MWAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anyway, let's get writing. Enjoy the chappie.~

{ALL IS LOST!!}

^Anyway...(Yeesh, I'm supposed to be the psycho, pyro, and claw killer...)^

{*Gives Chaotic a strange look. . *.}

~Oh, screw both of you. WRITE THE FLIPPIN' FIRST SENTENCE ALREADY! WHERE THE HELL DID WE LEAVE OFF! *CURTAIN GUY*!~

Curtain Guy: *meekly* Yes?

~PULL THE FREAKIN' CURTAIN BEFORE I KEEL YOU ALL! *NOW*!~

*Curtain is pulled*

Curtain Guy: *Pulls curtain, and Shawshank shuts up*

*quickly*

*Link and Navi enter Sacred Dude Tree Meadow Place*

DUDE TREE: Hey, it's the los - uh, I mean, welcome, boy without a fairy.

NAVI: I brought him!! Can I got back to sleep now?

DUDE TREE: NO!

Link: Uh. . .what's going on?

DUDE TREE: Be quiet, this doesn't concern you. *To Navi* Anyway, I've been cursed by this evil dude guy thing, so I need you guys to break the curse.

NAVI: *Grumbles.* But I miss my bed...oh, fine. The sooner we get this over with, the sooner I can sleep. How do we break the curse?

Link: *walks about in the meadow, paying no attention to anything, whistling*

DUDE TREE: *Completely ignoring the loser - uh, I mean, Link* Well, um, lessee, how can I put this...?

NAVI: *Crosses arms over chest, tapping foot impatiently and glaring at Dude Tree.*

Link: *trips on a root of the dude tree*

DUDE TREE: Oh, $%!&, watch what you're doin', kid! We're trying to have a conversation here!

NAVI: You're getting off topic!

Link: *meekly* Okay, I'll just be over here if you need me. . .

DUDE TREE: *Is silent for a moment, considering. Then eyebrows raise freakishly high, and it grins...*

~Can trees grin? Oh well, they can now!~

{ O_o } 

DUDE TREE: Get in my belly!

NAVI: *Stands stock still for a moment, then flies around screaming.* AH! AH! AH! AH! AH! AH! AH! AH! AH! AH...

Link: *Hears nothing*

DUDE TREE: Whoa, there, Navi...just let me explain...

NAVI: AH! AH! AH! AH! AH! AH! AH! AH! AH! AH!

~And up goes the personal firewall...~

Link: *Sees Navi yelling*  AH! AH! AH! AH! AH!

DUDE TREE: *Sighs, as Link and Navi run around in circles screaming their heads off...* Hold it there, dudes. Hang on...if you just...

DR. EVIL: Ladies and gentlement, ExZIPPIT A!

DUDE TREE: Wha - 

Link:  AH! AH! AH! AH! AH! 

DR. EVIL: SHH!

DUDE TREE: How did you...

Link: *Shuts up*

DR. EVIL: Ah! I got a whole bag of SHH! with YOUR name on it!

DUDE TREE: *Rolls eyes towards the heavens.* How about some author intervention, gang?

~*Grins evilly.* Glad to be of service.*

{ Zaps Dr. Evil } 

DR. EVIL: AH! AH! AH! AH! AH!

^Sweeps ashes under cloud^

~ H7, why did you have to use the "La - ser?" ~

{ Because it's fun ^-^}

LINK, NAVI, and DR. EVIL: AH! AH! AH! AH! AH! AH!

{ It burns things *stares intently at the lazer* Wooo }

^How did Dr. Evil get in here anyway?^

~ *Is now pretty much PMS - worthy.* SHADDUP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ~

{No clue}

{Yes sir!}

~ I was watching Austin Powers last night, and Mike Meyers is Canadian. ~

^STORY!! NOW!!^

~ Spoilsport. ~

{Tch}

NAVI: That was...odd...

Navi: Good night!

Link: *Notices nothing*

DR. EVIL: *Disappears in a poof of smoke, with his pinky in his mouth*

DUDE TREE: HOLD IT RIGHT THERE, BEFORE I PULL A SHAWSHANK!

{ This should be good. . .}

NAVI: What? Get depressed?

{ Woo, shot down. . .*watches intently*}

^*shoves Shawshank off cloud, onto another*^

{ Randomly jumps from cloud to cloud }

~ God, you LOSERS! No, wait, that's me...~

~ And I'm not depressed, I'm just crabby. Sorta. ~

{ My mommy says I'm special }

~ *Imitates Kelso from That 70's Show* Ooh, BURN! Hey, wait a sec... ~

^And I'm a LOSAH!!^

~ Okay, screw the author notes. Continuing on... ~

^We the authors shall shut-up...now!^

{For now, Bwhahah!}

Link: Why am I here again?

DUDE TREE: Anyway, you have to...uh...*walk* into my mouth. You better wash your shoes first, I don't want to get sick or something!

NAVI: *sitting, smoking* He's gonna eat us.

Link: Okay.

DUDE TREE: Ah, ashes! AH! AH! AH! AH... just kidding. 

Link: He'll catch fire! We got to put him out! *starts stamping on a root of the Dude Tree*

NAVI: *muttering* You'll be ashes when I'm through with you...

Link: *Promptly stops, gulps audibly*

DUDE TREE: OUCHIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! STOPPIT!!!!!!

NAVI: Why am I surrounded by wusses?

Link: *dusts of the root of the Dude Tree, walking away slowly*

DUDE TREE: Oh, just stop messing around and get in ma bellae. *Yawns hugely.*

Link: *walks in like there's nothing wrong with this whole scene*

NAVI: *is sucked in by the yawn*

Link: EWWW! It stinks!!! *holds nose*

NAVI: It stinks in here!! What did you eat stink roots!?!

DEKU BABA: *Eats Link*

NAVI: Good riddance...

Link: *muted* ACK! AH! AH! AH! AH!

DEKU BABA: *Spits him out* Yuck! *Promptly withers and dies*

NAVI: *sighs* What a loser...

Link: Yay! *does a little victory dance*

^Let's fast forward through the dungeon, or we'll be here for the next seven years...^

{ Too true. . .Let's }

Link: I am soo good!

NAVI: Hope you're not scared of spiders kid, wait, I hope that you are! Then I can go back to bed!!

Link: I don't think I am…ACK!! GET IT OFF, GET IT OFF!!!

AS - OF - NOW UNNAMED SPIDER THINGY: Hiss.

Link: AHHHHHHHH!!!!

AONUST: Hiss, hiss.

Link: *screams even louder*

AONUST: Hiss, hiss hiss...hiss!

NAVI: *falls down, laughing*

Link: *Continues screaming, failing with sword*

AONUST: *Falls down, covering ears.* HISS! HISS! HISS!

Link: *somehow manages to stab spider in the eye*

NAVI: *pokes at spider* I think this is Queen Gohma...

GOHMA: Hey, that hurt! Jeeze, kid!

Link: *still screaming*

NAVI: If you're lucky, he'll kill you...

GOHMA: *Winces at loud screaming.* Yeah, hopefully...do I get a last request?

NAVI: Go ahead, but no guarantees...

Link: *in his wild frenzy of screaming and running, trips over gomhas' leg, screaming even harder upon hitting the ground*

GOHMA: *Flails legs in air.* Tell my old buddy the Talking Boulder that I'm sorry for turning to the Dark Side...*breathes Vader - style*

NAVI: Sure, he can run over Loser here for you...again…

GOHMA: Okay, thanks! *Gasps, gurgles, keels over and dies.*

Link: *still screaming, amazingly not yet hoarse*

Link: *abruptly stops screaming*

~ Well, that was easy... it must've been the screaming... maybe he was the lead singer of a punk band in a past life? ~

^Man, that midget has got some lung power...^

{Perhaps. . .}

GOHMA: *Dissolves away.*

Link: I did it! Go me!!! *victory dance*

NAVI: Look! The spider ate a heart!! Pick it up idiot!!

Link: *runs over to the heart, trips on his own feet and squishes the thing flat*

HEART PIECE: OUCHIE!

Link: *picks it up, dusts it off* It's all good! See? It's still good!

NAVI: Dolt...

HEART PIECE: Sure, that's what you think...hurry up and drink me already! Put me out of my pain!

Link: Woo. . . It's glows. . .Pruttiyful. . .*eats the heart piece thing made of a glasslike substance*

NAVI: Well...if this hero thing falls thru, you'll always have a job as a circus freak...

BLUE CIRCLE OF LIGHT: HI! I'M YOUR FRIENDLY NEIGHBOURHOOD TRANSPORTATION SYSTEM! JUST HOP IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BLUE LIGHT, AND WE'LL HEAD UP TO TALK TO THE DUDE TREE!

Link: Okay!

Link: *steps into blue light, gets spun around about fifty times*

BLUE CIRCLE OF LIGHT: NOW DEPARTING DUDE TREE'S BOWELS! NEXT STOP, IN FRONT OF THE DUDE TREE!

NAVI: I think I'm gonna be sick...

^Hmmm...I think we talked more than the other characters...^

{What a little screamer *tries to clear ringing sound from ears*}

~ Oh well. Now I gotta get kicked off the computer, so farewell all readers, and REVIEW! NOW! BEFORE I GET PISSY AGAIN! Oops, too late... ~

{Bye bye!}

^Adios! Hopefully next update won't take as long..._^

~ Oh, the joys of homework...and little brothers shooting elastics at you...if he hits me, I'm calling the cops...picking up the phone now...Hah, the loser missed again! 

{hehe, I don't have any siblings so :P}

~FIN ~


End file.
